Over my head

Immediately after waking, Bear heads to the couch for a nap.

The last time we had a lesson with Kristin was a while ago.  Long enough ago that I don’t remember.  I vaguely remember her saying that “adolescent” dogs can be a pain in the butt.

At six months old, I think Bear might be an adolescent.  We’ve had him for four months.  In the beginning it was all exciting and new.  “Look! Did you see him go to the door before peeing on the floor?”  We’d announce to anyone willing to listen to the amazement of a dog learning not to pee and poop inside.

Like your child first eating solid food, or sitting on their own, the “firsts” are important when they happen.  But I’m not sure we hold onto them.  If you are with a new baby or puppy, I’m sure you’ll never forget, but I was in a doctor’s office yesterday filling out information for Fiona.  It is a family practice office with a lot of newborns, so they had questions about developmental milestones, like sitting up, walking, eating, talking, etc.  I had to guess on most of them.  At some point when they are real young you tell people how old they are in weeks.  Then at some point you tell them in months, in half-month increments.  About the time you switch to half-year increments you’ve forgotten what it is like to get up three times a night; you forget about changing diapers; and you start thinking how nice it would be to have another baby.

Fiona’s Crayon art has increased Bear’s colored wax consumption.

With a dog’s accelerated development, I still remember the excitement I had about some of Bear’s firsts.  As I pick up a poop with a M&M’s wrapper, a Lego, a plastic bedazzled jewel, and blue foam that might be part of a Nerf bullet, I think about how astonished I was scooping up the Lego-filled poop.  What a rookie move.

It’s hardly worth noting the multi-colored droppings now.  (The latest installment is crayons).  There is a condescending air of importance as you work your way through the developmental stages.  Oh yes, the challenges of getting the dog to go outside.  Thank goodness we don’t have to deal with THAT anymore.  Oh I remember when he would just run away from me at the park.  How frustrating!  Not anymore, though.

I am experiencing both sides of this condescension.  There are times when Bear can be a great dog, walking nicely beside me on the street, sitting next to me in a restaurant, or signaling for a low-blood sugar.  There are also times when “good” dog owners have the opportunity to look down at me.  As we near the park on walks, you can witness me yanking Bear around as he pulls on the leash, anticipating running free.  Even worse is when I try to get him to run alongside the bike.

Declan, Sam, and Bear prepare for trick or treating.

Bear continues to annoy the teenagers of the house.  This morning he chewed up a headband (“I HAAAAAAATE BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!”).  Last week he finished Maggie’s Halloween candy (“Daddy, you have to buy me two pounds of candy.”).  He also chewed up Fiona’s friend’s shoe and bike helmet (“He is SO annoying.”).  He threw up in the car again (“Why does he have to come in the car?”).  Bear is oblivious to their annoyance.  He continues to greet them at the door as if their presence just made his day.

Declan, however, not being in the developmental stage of life involving only oneself and possibly the two foot radius around oneself (aka adolescence), continues to pet Bear.  Declan will even work on some obedience with Bear.  And he likes it when he sleeps in his room.  Declan’s friends talk about when Bear will be able to come over to their house and when he might be able to go to school.  When I witness these conversations and the warm gestures from Declan, I almost feel bad about how angry I get at Bear while attempting to get him to run alongside the bike.  Almost.

Questions:

• Does Bear smell the cotton swab in the low-scent sample or the actual low-scent?
• Will Bear be able to wake up if he smells a low-scent while sleeping?
• Will Bear ever be able to control himself around other dogs?
• Will Bear ever “come” when called?
• How many shoes will he chew?
• How many Nerf guns will he disintegrate?
• How many cups of food is enough?